Changes in progress.

So, I have just ended my phone call with Kate in Maine, she's taking Hydroxycut Max.... I went to Wal-Mart, they do not carry that particular pill, so instead I purchased SlimQuick (Blue) and SlimQuick Hoodia (Green). I have read countless reviews, especially on fitFLEX.com and I have just taken the first day's worth of doses. I'm hoping this works. I'm incredibly unhappy with myself. I feel like I'm relying on Kevin way too much these days and my hormones are out of whack.

I'm 5'5" ish and 184 lbs.
Hopefully this will motivate me a little further.
When and if I see a difference, I know that I'll have much more confidence.
I still smoke as well. (Camel Lights)
Coke Zero causes appetite supression, lol.

Reading Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire Series... on book 4 at the moment since this is the inspiration for the HBO Series, True Blood, which I'm seemingly addicted to.

I get so agitated with Kevin when he blows me off or he doesn't pick up the phone.... His jealousy is awkward as well, so when I don't see him and I can't be around my male friends due to the unsettling effects, it's so irritating... I have to be by myself, which is never good, or it'll piss him off if he knew that I was hanging out with Bret as much as I have been or if I were to go and see Jonathan like I used to. Bret's 24th birthday was last night, I went over there and cheered him up.

I work at Bath & Body Works, which I absolutely adore... and Piggly Wiggly which is shutting it's doors permanently November 30th, that's my supplemental paycheck, but fucking torture. I need a nice full-time job, without the negative attitudes encompassing the surroundings.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just an easy lay, just a fucking booty call for Kevin... and it hurts and then other times I feel like I piss him off constantly due to insecurities. I love him... he says he loves me... so...