A continuance of the last.

Yeah, too many people were around to finish the last post, however, now I'm all alone at the lingerie shop.
Anyway, so to finish, Michael tore me up, he could not keep an erection due to the recent drug usage, trust me, I tried to keep it up, nothing would work. Instead, we caressed one another, held each other, slowly starting, and tenderly making love. He got me to sit on his face, lie in the 69 position below and above him, this went on for over 3 hours, then he just simply finished me off purely him working. WOW. It was simply amazing! After we finished, the newly cleaned and dried sheets felt as if they had just been taken out of the washer, we lied in each other's sweat-drenched arms for what seemed an eternity, holding each other, kissing, again caressing one another, and whispering our sweet nothings and I love yous.
This had included fingering of the vagina and anus, rim job and clitoral / vaginal stimulation and kissing with his tongue and lips. MULTIPLE ORGASMS.

---Afterwards---

I left the house, said Goodbye, I love you, and whatnot. Not one phone call all day from him, I was coming down emotionally. I saw myself going down the same fucked up path that I had before, so I was starting to doubt myself physically and emotionally. I finally called at 10 pm, no answer, so I left a couple of messages, then started worrying and fell asleep at my parents' house, going in late at night to cover my track marks. The next morning, LeAnna was looking for me, for the money for the till and because she was worried about where I had ended up. She went down to Michael's, I wasn't there, just Carrie's little red truck. LeAnna came to my house, convinced my mother to wake me up, then she and I talked about the vehicle in Michael's driveway. Honestly, I thought Carrie's truck was black, I was wrong. I took a shower, met LeAnna at the shop and went to his house, no one was there and he still had the movie rental on Salvador's account, the Hitcher.
We poked around the house for a minute and then I called him. He picked up. Was nice to me, I told him about the movie being late and he said he had it with him and was taking care of it. LeAnna and I went to Ingle's. We shopped around for a moment, then I came out to the suburban with the groceries, Carrie pulled around in her red truck and said in her obnoxious voice, "Hey!" I also waved and said "Hi." My heart sank. I was in a lot of emotional and especially physical pain all day!
After work, I stayed up until 5:30 am with Brandon and we just talked and talked some more. I was starting to miss Michael.
I wanted to kick myself in the ass.
I still do.
He changed his phone number.

---Yesterday and Today thus far---

He called me at 7 am. Told me he changed his number. Also that he missed me. I'm really starting to feel for him. I hate myself a little for it.
I went through the day talking to him on and off, he hardly got service on the job site where he was painting. I'm proud of him for getting a job.
I had over $300 worth of sales yesterday!
I shut down the store at 8:45 pm and rode by his place, her truck was there, so I didn't go down there. He called me shortly afterwards when Daren and I were in the movie theatre seeing Ocean's 13. We continued sending text messages back and forth. I was also texting Amber.
I told him I was coming over, I arrived 12:10 am. No vehicles, so I went to the door, no lights were on, I called for him, "Mike, Michael..." He stumbled out of bed and opened the door. We went back to his room, kissed, kissed again. Said our "I miss yous" and I flipped on the lamp, I smiled at him, he smiled back, we continued to kiss. I really did miss him. So, I asked him what was up, why was Carrie there all night, did they have sex, who slept where... and so forth.
She slept on the couch, he slept in the bed... she "wouldn't leave" ...
They did more methamphetamine. He worked all day, he was exhausted.
We snuggled up together.
Kissed, held one another. Exchanged I love yous. I felt so happy to be back in his arms.
We tossed, turned, kissed. Slept. Tossed, turned, snuggled, and kissed more. Almost had sex. Couldn't, because of my stupid period.
We lied together and talked while snuggling and fell asleep.
Woke up around 7:40 am, both of us sneezing and coughing a little bit; I'm assuming allergies.
Kissed, talked, snuggled, and went back to sleep. Woke up at 10 am. So comfortable, just lying there, I didn't want to go to work. Got up after holding each other and talking.
Went to the store, grabbed a $100 to get change. Cashed his check and got change at United Community Bank. Went to breakfast at McDonald's. Ran into a friend of his / customer of mine -- she asked how Carrie was acting -- NUTS.
Went back to his house. Dropped him off after snuggling a little bit, looked for an extra stash, then kissed and fooled around a little bit. He promised he'd be at the store in a little bit.
I went to work.
I've had about $200 worth of sales thus far.
I talked to Michael on the phone a couple of times earlier.
I received a text message saying "ME AND CARRIE R TOGETHER NOW" an hour ago. I called 15-20 minutes afterwards, Carrie picked up the phone, fucking sarcastic bitch.
She wouldn't hand him the phone.
I told her to have him call me later, she replied "I'm sure he will."
I hung up.
I talked to Amber on the phone.
I want her to go with me so that I can see with my own eyes and with moral support if they're together or not.
I'm waiting on her to show up. I pray that she comes.
I want to cry.
He and I had had great conversation -- an actual sober, loving conversation with one another last night and this morning.
I was happy again for a night / morning, now I'm crying on the inside while my eyes water.
Why can't I get a decent man that can love me for me and not have to go back to abuse and immature girls.

I'm depressed yet again.

Alright... life goes on. What's next?

---Employment---

So, I was laid-off from my job at the software company. I work full time for LeAnna at the Lingerie shop... for over a month now! So, instead of my hefty software paycheck, I get around 15% commission of what ever I happen to sell. We've just gotten a new shipment of dancer wear, it's too bad that Georgia is cracking down and proposing an ordinance that would prevent the girls from wearing garters, also from getting within 4 feet of a customer, and the singles must be thrown on stage.

---Relationships---

Will and I split due to methamphetamine and I was tracked down by a gas man named Mitch (who was a bouncer at the strip clubs I sell gear at now) and dated him for a while. Mitch turned out to be an mentally and physically abusive asshole that had sex with strippers right in front of me. He was an awful alcoholic and overly jealous that after a month of not even speaking to Will, he helped me take the Cobalt back to Enterprise in Toccoa. Jon R and I finally put to rest what we had tried in highschool, I was inebriated. I joined hotornot.com, yeah, I met a guy named Jon who had an amazing apartment in Buckhead; he just wanted a hookup, I didn't put out... he was gorgeous though. I haven't heard from him since. Next, I started taking prescription pain medication to ease my overall achiness. Carrie and Michael split up, I got really drunk to numb the pain from my alcoholic ex, had sex with Michael. I had a one-night stand with Jacob W, the next day he thought he had had sex with a stripper (we were incredibly wasted and there were silver platforms involved). We had sex on the massage table in the back room and then went o my parent's camper where I slammed my left index finger in the door. Amy and Jake in the apartment upstairs introduced me to their single friend, Larry, the best man at their wedding. We got along great! He was intelligent and could hold an intriguing conversation -- I was immediately attracted. Just turned 36, but became a grandfather last week. We laughed continuously all night and curled up on Jake and Amy's enormous, comfortable bed. One thing led to another, he was so tender and actually "made love" to me, I hadn't had that in years. So turns out he used me for sex those two times after our many cellular conversations and dates, also to piss off his wife of 19 years (she's now a lesbian), and to get closer to Amy so that he could split Jake and Amy up. I knew from the first time I saw Larry interact with Amy that he was in love with her, I told LeAnna and Brandon, but I still let him use me. Daren came back from New York, Larry started ignoring me after I dropped him off at Canton and spent my last night with him and claimed I was "stalking" him -- right, I called him last night because I heard that he was having a rough time, I just wanted to see if he were alright and also to tell him the baby items were still available for baby Christopher.

So, when Larry was cooking dinner for Amy and Jake, I was invited up after work, but my attempts to get in touch with any of them were futile. Michael started texting me, I automatically responded -- REVENGE.

Michael and I went to see Knocked Up in Habersham at 10 pm, it was hilarious! We had a decent time, surprisingly drama-free. I told him about the way Larry was treating me, Michael was apologetic. We went back to his house. I was hurt by Larry's mistreating me, so I had sex with Michael again to escape my bellowing pain. He's much LARGER than poor Larry. Larry, don't get me wrong, was a great lover, but just below-average whereas Michael is overly-endowed.

---Love Making versus Just Good Sex---

After I had sex with Michael, he held me all night and was just so kind to me. This is the first time that someone's treated me like I'm just the most amazing event in their life. My little afair has continued with Michael; I've come to the realization that he's like a druggie version of Forrest Gump. We've had A LOT of sex, he's good, plus he's sincere afterwards and seems to really want me. However, we actually have nothing in common besides sex and drugs; I've noticed my yet again, downward spiral into my former behaviors. I've literally smoked crack this week, then last night after a little spat (Brandon took Michael home and Michael's evidently extremely homophobic) and Michael going missing for about 3.5 hours, shot up methamphetamine a few times. One of my veins busted in my left arm which is quite ugly and a little discomforting but the feeling of the actual injection of the substance into the correct vein was amazing! An all-over tingliness, a total "panty popper" if I may say so. This led to his "I love you" and my deceptive agreeing rhetoric; I feel bad, he's good to me the majority of the time, however, he's so below my standards for a mate other than he likes to have sex as often as I do. I guess you can learn to love anyone, but I could not see myself settling for such a burn-out. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I just can't live the rest of my life shooting up and getting cracked out; I want to have a future, a bright one, with happiness and stability without drama from ex-girlfriends and the fear that I might get busted for drugs and live, no be conscious, through the rest of my years without my freedom.

Anyway, so last night before the episode of crass homophobia, I had gotten one of our little Omazing cockrings from the room, Michael and I tried it out -- very nice results!! Alright, after making up after our argument over him not wanting to be open with me about his feelings and coming to the agreement that we should talk instead of letting things that make us feel uncomfortable build up (shit, he wouldn't understand my complaints about much of his behavior in simple English, so this was more so to make him fee, yes, this was done over shooting up... anyway, I was feeling the scruffiness of Michael's face and I proposed a trust-building activity. Okay, so I shaved his face, his neck, and the overgrown areas on the back of his head -- in return, he got to shave my legs and my groin area; I must admit, he was very gentle and did a wonderful job! I actually feel comfortable being naked around him which is a rarity for me, especially considering he's got a pretty nice body himself! So after all the shaving and whatnot, I finished taking my bath and Michael made the bed.

When he was shaving my nether-regions, I coyingly joked about him eating me out, well, his response shocked me -- HE WANTED TO TEAR ME UP!

I dried off, came into the bedroom in my towel, I could see his eyes light up. We started kissing passionately, it was much different than any other previous encounter, he was tender, loving, and I could tell that he wanted me to know just how he desired and cared for me.